I've been married for 10 months and have never had sex

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I (23M) has been married for 10 months to my wife (25F) and we have never had sex.

My wife and I are both Christian and we agreed that we would not have sex until we were married. 1 month before we got married she said she was "terrified to have sex". I told her it was fine and that as long we tried there was no rush. (She is literally my dream woman so I didn't worry too much). Fast forward to now and we still haven't had sex. We have tried a few times but she freaks out before anything has even happened. This is obviously very embarrassing and difficult to deal with. I have tried to convince her to go to the doctor or perhaps therapy. But she keeps refusing. I am a very chill person and non-confrontational so this has been very difficult to deal with. She has also been diagnosed with anxiety and takes medication. I don't have anyone to tell and I figured this will get lost in the posts. I'm not sure what to do and am incredibly frustrated. How am I supposed to tell anyone that I'm married and have still never had sex?? Shit's embarrassing. It feels good to leave it here even if no one else in my personal life knows.

Edit: Just want to be clear my wife is my dream woman. She is extremely smart, caring, and sweet. Whenever the conversation about our sex life comes up, she feels very guilty about it. She wants to be able to have sex but freaks out every time. I always comfort her (she cries when this happens) and tell her it's okay and as long as we try I'm fine with it. I've always been very sweet to her about it, I never raise my voice or get upset with her. I love her to death she is my dream woman as I've said. But this sucks a lot, especially when people I know are always talking about how much sex they've had and how great it is. We've had oral sex and that's it. Actual vaginal sex is what freaks her out.

Edit: Wow this has blown up a lot more than I thought it would! This is my first reddit post and I thought it would for sure get 2 upvotes and die. I cannot express how much I appreciate all of the advice you guys have given me. I appreciate all of you. <3

There is a few things I would like to add:

  1. When I say she is my dream woman, I mean everything about her is perfect. (Except this situation obviously.) Other than that she is perfect.
  2. She is on birth control and I do wear protection whenever we have tried to have sex. I am 99 percent sure she is not afraid of getting pregnant. Rather just the pain that comes with the actual penetration. When we have oral sex I am able to get her there every time. It is the same when she does oral to me.
  3. I did not consider that our Christian upbringing could potentially have affected her ability to have sex, even after being married. When we have tried she said it was the "pain and the pressure" of trying that she could not handle.
  4. I cannot express how much I appreciate all of the input. I apologize if do not respond, like I said I thought this would die off with many other posts lol.
  5. I will add updates, I am unsure how often or when I will, but if something happens I will definitely let you guys know! So much support! It feels great to let people in, even if they are strangers on the internet. I appreciate you <3

Edit: We were dating for 5 years before marriage.

submitted by /u/Papa_Powers to r/TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]