Instructions for Reviewer 2: How to reject a manuscript for arbitrary reasons

"Reviewing is an integral part of the academic enterprise, and reviewers play an important role in blocking other people's work that they don't like for arbitrary reasons. Recent developments in open science, such as preprints, have unfortunately been steps in the wrong direction. In order to restore science to its golden days of a Kafkaesque system full of traps and snares, I present eight strategies that all reviewers should apply in order to reject any paper they want, without the burdensome work of actually having to read it