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PUA, part 2

Language Log 2025-03-27

When I first encountered the Chinese expression "pua" several years ago, I had no idea what it meant nor how to pronounce it, so I asked my students.  I wrote it on the board and pronounced it according to English phonology.  They laughed and told me they thought I was saying "pǔwa 普哇", whereas they pronounce it as an English letter acronym:  P-U-A.

You can hear it for yourself here.

@phuongviviyam

might start using PUA in English too #greenscreen #chinese #chineselanguage #chineselanguagelearning #gaslight #gaslighting

♬ original sound – viviyam

After they educated me by telling me that "pua" stands for "pick-up-artist", and what that means, I wrote the first installment of this post.

Since "pua" is still going strong in China and is picking up some new nuances, It's time for an update, which I provide by quoting these explanations by four students of this line I picked up (!) from a random video:  zhǐyào wǒ méi shàng jìn xīn jiù méiyǒu rén néng pua wǒ" 只要我沒上進心 就沒有人能pua我 ("As long as I have no ambition, no one can pua me")

Xinyan

Pua is currently a very popular meme on the Chinese internet. It describes someone who controls another person through psychological pressure (such as belittling their abilities, status, or appearance). In this context, it means: "As long as I lack ambition, no one can psychologically control/hurt me for personal gain."
 
I remember that Pua entered the Chinese public consciousness through the "Peking University Bao Li case 北大包麗案." As a student at Peking University, Bao Li was subjected to long-term psychological control and pressure by her boyfriend, ultimately leading to her suicide. Later, the police discovered that Bao Li's boyfriend had participated in a PUA club, known as "Pickup Artist." This community teaches men how to seduce women and have sexual relationships with them.
 
Now young people frequently use pua, often alongside another word—"内耗 (nèihào)," referring to a state of mental or emotional exhaustion caused by overthinking or self-doubt.
 
Let's say, 容易 "內耗" 的人更容易被pua!  ("people who are easily nèihàoed are all the more easily puaed")

Sun Ming

PUA initially stands for Pick-up Artists, those who study and practice techniques to attract romantic partners. But in recent years it has become a Chinese slang, meaning manipulative or emotionally abusive behavior. psychological manipulation. E.g., When our bosses or toxic partners gaslight us, we can say 別pua我！

Qianheng

The host in the video providng the context for the quoted line primarily addresses the "lying flat" (躺平) phenomenon among young Chinese people today (me and Sun Ming's generation!). Due to intense societal pressures, economic downturns, and employment challenges, many young people are choosing to reject the traditional hustle culture. Some criticize them for being "lazy" or "unmotivated" (which is essentially a form of "PUA"), but the reality is that the competition we face is fiercer than ever. For some, opting out of the relentless grind is seen as a way to pursue a happier, more balanced life.

Zhaofei

"PUA" originally stands for "Pick-Up Artist," but in Chinese internet slang, it’s become a way to describe emotional manipulation or control. It is like when someone tries to control you through sweet talk or fake promises, often used in a relationship or work place.
 
So when the video says,  只要我沒上進心 就沒有人能pua我,  if I don’t care about being successful or moving up in my career, then no one can use those goals to manipulate me or pressure me into doing stuff I don’t want to do. It sounds like "You can’t trick me with your dreams if I don’t have any."

In sum, if I have no aspirations, no one can leverage them against me.  Opt-out, dude.

 

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