"With all due respect"

If someone prefaces a sentence by saying "with all due respect", it's a sign that they are likely to unleash something negative or critical, and sometimes quite vulgar and highly disrespectful.  The result, then, is to intensify, rather than to mitigate, their criticism.

Paul Gogarty, a member of Ireland's Green Party, unloaded some fairly colourful language on Labour Party member Emmet Stagg during a debate using this term.

"With all due respect and in the most unparliamentary language, f**k you Deputy Stagg, f**k you…". He then added, "I apologize now for my use of unparliamentary language."

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One wonders, then, what the point of using this disingenuous phrase is.

In 2008, the Oxford dictionary compiled a list of the most irritating phrases in the English language, the phrase with all due respect came in as the fifth most irritating phrase in the English language. Perhaps because of its changing function from a phrase meant to mitigate hard feelings to a phrase that allows a subtle disrespect, cloaked in courtesy.

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It would seem to me that "with all due respect" has been so tarnished by satirical use that it would be better to avoid it altogether.

In The Discourse of Blogs and Wikis (pp. 99-100), Greg Myers discusses phrases like "with all due respect" under the rubric of "stylistic stance markers", along with "I humbly suggest…", "seriously", "honestly", "frankly", "if I may put it like that", and smileys.  He ends that section by quoting from Language Log:

With all due respect, this sounds like a crippling way to learn an Asian language (i.e. a character-based language).

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Later, the same commenter / critic says, "I would vehemently disagree".  That's pretty strong language, especially for a civil debate on a subject where reasonable people may be expected to have different opinions.  It might be a good idea to prune away all the harsh, sarcastic invective before posting our remarks.

 

Reading

"In a good way" (3/31/09) — extensive discussion of "with all due respect" in the comments