Horoscope: What D-Hall fry iteration are you?

Aries: Buffalo fries

March 21-April 19 

While you’re not always everybody’s first choice, you are the first of the zodiac signs, and with that comes great power. You’re bold on the taste front, and we won’t lie — we are intimidated by your drive. Now go get yourself some hot wings and yap about your latest win.

 

Taurus: Seasoned curly fries 

April 20-May 20 

You might have a roundabout way of getting to the point, but you are weathered and wise. You contain spiraling amounts of information in that big ol’ brain of yours. Don’t let anyone ruin your wicked curl game.

 

Gemini: Jalapeño cheddar bites

May 21-June 20

Upon first bite, you’re pretty sweet, but after the jalapeño hits, we’re second guessing our taste buds. Maybe we’ve just grown accustomed to a midwestern spice tolerance, but you’ve got a kick, Gemini.

 

Cancer: Hush puppies 

June 21-July 22 

It may be in the name, but you’re no silent pushover. You radiate slightly small, sad dog energy, but are unexpectedly mischievous and attract people with your quiet strength and emotional depth.

 

Leo: Onion rings 

July 23-August 22 

It’s up for debate whether onion rings can be considered fries, but it’s just like a Leo to assert their presence without really worrying about that. To match your lion’s mane, the crispy edges of the onion ring are something the foremost onion ring critic Lorde would herself die for, so take that as a compliment.

 

Virgo: Sweet potato waffle fries 

August 23-September 22 

Systematic yet criss-crossed, your personality can confuse others. However, those who love you point to your sweet, mild flavor and your way of telling others just what they need to hear.

 

Libra: Crinkle cut fries 

September 23-October 22  

There’s an art to the way these fries look — perfectly crisp, wouldn’t you agree? Of course you would — you’re a Libra who values artistic expression and style. This fry’s flair for the spectacular has you reaching for it every time.

 

Scorpio: Mojo fries

October 23-November 21

Underneath the dynamic blend of garlic and thyme, you pull others to you with that magnetic charm no one can resist. Your friends would battle the 12 p.m. D-Hall lines for you because they know you would do the same for them.

 

Sagittarius: Potato fries ultimate crisp

November 22-December 21 

Just like how this fry quests into unexplored territory — “What if we were really, really ultimately crispy?” — you’re never satisfied with the expected and mundane. People can’t help but notice your vibrance.

 

Capricorn: Battered sea salt and pepper fries

December 22-January 19 

At first glance this fry seems simple and straightforward — boring, even. However, each bite brings dancing notes of salt and pepper. Just like this fry, you just need to get to know a Capricorn to meet their wild side.

 

Aquarius: Sour cream and chives fries

January 20-February 18 

You’re only on the menu every so often, representing the very human and very Aquarian desire to go against the grain. That onion-y bite cuts through your smooth exterior to create something far more interesting.

 

Pisces: Sidewinder beer battered fries

February 19-March 20 

You’re tasteful but also have a kick. Your radiant energy and abundant lore reflect the nature of the beer battered fry, worn but strong and insightful at the same time. Crack one open while you’re munching on this D-Hall delicacy.