Do Courtesy Titles Matter?

I like to think I’m not fussy about honorifics. I don’t tell my undergraduate students how to address me. The current convention seems to be Professor X, though friends who teach at research universities report that they are often addressed as Dr. X, and frequently undergraduates used to boarding schools will default to Ms. or Mr. X. One colleague, whose last name is difficult to pronounce, goes by Dr. Dan, which students seem to love. Once students have graduated, I usually encourage them to switch to a first-name basis. I am a little affronted, though, when an incoming first-year student (or her parent) presumes to start with Lucy.

Though I know others who have set “rules” as to how they are addressed, I suspect mine is a common approach.

Outside the academy, unless I’m told otherwise, I refer to my physicians as Dr. I kind of like it when they respond with an honorific — after all, I am not their student — but it doesn’t bother me if they don’t. I am placing myself in their care; even if they are younger than I, they are the experts in those situations and I am the neophyte. I don’t use an honorific with my auto mechanic, though he always uses one when addressing me. He’s my car’s physician, not mine. I’m on a first-name basis with the person who cleans my house, though; perhaps it’s a more personal relationship.

Finally, when I first entered the working world, the question of when to use and when to refrain from honorifics fascinated me. My summer job during college was at a pastry shop in France, where the head proprietor was Madame Pellisson, but her son, who really ran the place, went by Monsieur Pierre, essentially the equivalent of Dr. Dan. In full-time jobs that ensued, I was mostly pleased, and surprised, to find that my bosses expected me to address them by their first names. There was one exception, when I was employed as a report writer for a branch of the State Department. My boss was Mr. Little. All the project managers were men, for whom everyone there used the honorific. All their secretaries — and we two report writers, who worked for the organization as a whole — were women; and the men referred to all of us by our first names. The hierarchy was unmistakable.

Which brings me to the president. Even before he was inaugurated, I noticed the frequency with which he referred to those with whom he wished to assume a certain familiarity by their first names. This applied — and still applies — whether he bestows contempt or affection on them. Some of this may be a recent shift in custom. In the Obama-McCain debates of 2008, both candidates largely referred to each other as Senator; in the Obama-Romney debates, it was President Obama and Governor Romney. In the Clinton-Trump debates, which were far more acrimonious, both candidates made a point of referring to the other by first name — a sort of barbed familiarity.

Since President Trump was inaugurated, the trend has grown more noticeable. Past presidents, as far as I can tell, may be on a first-name basis with professionals in other branches of government. But in public, I always heard them refer to senators, congressional representatives, and judges as Senator X, Representative X, Justice X. A typical clip has President George W. Bush referring to Nancy Pelosi as Congresswoman. Even within the executive branch, past presidents have generally referred publicly to Cabinet appointees and other professionals with an honorific.

Not our current president. When he reports on a meeting with the minority leaders in the House and Senate, it’s not Representative Pelosi and Senator Schumer. It’s Nancy and Chuck. The majority leader of the Senate is Mitch. Yet as far as I’ve heard, no one in the administration or the legislative branch of government calls Trump anything other than President Trump or the president. This imbalance in honorific usage seems new to me. President Obama usually referred to McConnell either by his full name or as Leader McConnell or Senator McConnell. Ditto John Boehner or Speaker Boehner. The same has not yet held true for the president’s references to Supreme Court justices; even while disparaging John Roberts, Trump took care to refer to him as Justice Roberts.

Many in the media have noted that Trump acts as though legislators work for him, rather than belonging to a separate and equal branch of the government. Referring to legislators by their first names, as they continue to use the honorific with the chief executive, subtly reinforces this impression.

There’s some flexibility here, surely. Barack Obama and Joe Biden referred to each other interchangeably as Barack and Joe and as President Obama and Vice President Biden. But the reciprocity reinforced the impression that they worked together more or less as partners. For all the absence of daylight between Vice President Pence and President Trump, the president repeatedly refers to his veep as Mike, but I cannot find a single instance where Mike returns the favor and calls the president Donald. Or is it Don? Interesting. No one knows. Because no one seems to call him by his first name. Mrs. Trump? Help us out here.