Art is going to disappear when the Puritans take over

In the face of declining ad revenues*, we have decided to become a full-time porn blog. You’ll find an example of our new content to the right.

You might say that’s not porn, that’s art…but pornography is in the eye of the beholder, and that’s porn in Florida**.

On Thursday, the Tallahassee Democrat reported that the principal of a local charter school, the Tallahassee Classical School, was forced to resign after three parents complained about an art teacher showing a picture of Michelangelo’s 16th-century sculpture of David. “Parental rights are supreme, and that means protecting the interests of all parents, whether it’s one, 10, 20 or 50,” the chair of the school’s board, Barney Bishop III, told the paper. To figure out exactly how this happened, I called Bishop, who is also, according to his biography, a consultant, a lobbyist, an “outspoken advocate for the free enterprise system,” and an Eagle Scout.

I notice that “educator” isn’t on his CV, but that never stops anyone from taking control of a school board.

You should read the whole thing — Barney is totally bonkers. He’s got strongly held opinions, that’s for sure, but he seems to be using “classical” as a synonym for Desantis’ version of conservatism. He also has peculiar ideas about education.

He denies that the principal was fired over showing the statue. No, they were fired because they didn’t send a note to the parents warning them about it.

So the issue, Dan, isn’t whether children should see these pictures or not. Gosh, we’re a classical school. Why wouldn’t we show Renaissance art to children?

Right. We should expect that the students would see Renaissance art already (warning: some of it has boobies in it, too). Apparently, though, Florida parents are too stupid to be aware of this, so they have to be sent trigger warnings.

Dan, 98 percent of the parents didn’t have a problem with it. But that doesn’t matter, because we didn’t follow a practice. We have a practice. Last year, the school sent out an advance notice about it. Parents should know: In class, students are going to see or hear or talk about this. This year, we didn’t send out that notice.

He also says the statue is not a problem, but they’re going to have to do age-related censorship.

We’re not going to show the full statue of David to kindergartners. We’re not going to show him to second graders. Showing the entire statue of David is appropriate at some age. We’re going to figure out when that is.

And you don’t have to show the whole statue! Maybe to kindergartners we only show the head. You can appreciate that. You can show the hands, the arms, the muscles, the beautiful work Michelangelo did in marble, without showing the whole thing.

He also wants to disregard teachers, and give all control to parents — you know, the parents who need to be informed that a class on Renaissance art might include some nude images. Educators, pfft. They know nothing. Barney is the expert. He was an Eagle Scout!

We’re not gonna have courses from the College Board. We’re not gonna teach 1619 or CRT crap. I know they do all that up in Virginia. The rights of parents, that trumps the rights of kids. Teachers are the experts? Teachers have all the knowledge? Are you kidding me? I know lots of teachers that are very good, but to suggest they are the authorities, you’re on better drugs than me.

Barney is a confused individual who defends his regressive views with contradictions. He also mentions that they use the Hillsdale College curriculum. Hillsdale is a conservative and extremely Christian institution, and I expect the only consistency we’ll find is dishonesty and dogma.

Maybe all those repressed weirdos will start reading my blog for the porn now.

*Wait, what ad revenues? We’re ad-free!***

**Maybe they won’t find it pornographic down around Miami. I can’t forget the time I attended a conference in South Florida, took a break and sat down with my laptop on the beach, when an attractive young lady in front of me stood up, stripped naked, and started oiling herself down. I couldn’t get any work done at all. That wasn’t pornographic at all, that was art.

***Maybe when I start showing the spider porn and visits surge, we’ll be able to overcome the lack of ads with volume.****

****I know nothing about economics. Does it show?