N.R.A. Can’t Believe How Well National Conversation About Guns Is Going

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the national conversation about guns enters its fifth month, the National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre gave it his seal of approval today, saying that he hopes the conversation continues “forever.”

“I must admit, when the national conversation about guns started in those dark days of December, I thought it was a bad idea,” said Mr. LaPierre. “People kept saying that things would be different this time, and that scared the bejesus out of me.”

Because of what appeared to be a new resolve to finally do something about gun violence, he said, “I was concerned that the national conversation about guns would turn into something uglier, like congressional action.”