What do you call an innumerate hebephile?

Matt Gaetz.

Being nominated to head the DOJ is such sweet revenge after they came after me for “sex trafficking.” The general wisdom concerning age gap dating is to halve one’s age and subtract seven. I’m 42 and have almost never betrayed this general maxim over the last 10 years

I think that’s a fake tweet — it comes off Twitter, which is a pretty unreliable source. But still, it’s a funny jab at the horrible Gaetz, who, if he actually used that formula would think it acceptable for him to date 14 year olds, and “almost never” anyone younger.

The joke did make me wonder about where that “general wisdom” comes from. Do people actually do simple algebra to figure out who they should date? Is there actually a formula floating about?

I found a source. To put it in perspective, the first thing on that page is a calculator to figure out the age difference between two people: you type in your age, and your date’s age, and it subtracts one from the other to get the difference.

The universal formula for calculating an age difference is:

Age Difference = |Age 1 – Age 2|

Now that we know how smart the audience for this calculator is, they explain the “rule of seven,” which is not a rule, but only a tool for rationalizing kiddie-chasing.

A common rule for the maximum and minimum age one is supposed to date is the so-called “rule of seven”. It sets boundaries based on the age of one of the partners, and can be applied both ways. It goes as such: to define the minimum age of a partner, half your age and add seven. E.g. if you are thirty years old, calculate 30 / 2 + 7 = 15 + 7 = 22, or an age gap of 8 years would be acceptable in this direction).

To find the maximum socially acceptable age for a partner, subtract seven from your own age, then multiply it by two. For example, if you are 30 years of age, calculate (30 – 7) * 2 = 23 * 2 = 46 years or an age difference of 16 years would be acceptable in this direction.

OK, Matt Gaetz (or whoever posted that tweet) got the formula wrong, unsurprisingly.

“would be acceptable”…there are so many assumptions built into that phrase. Acceptable to who? Shouldn’t the important thing be acceptable to each other, with a recognition that a large age difference opens the door to power imbalances, and that children do not have the judgment of adults? This is a complex issue that doesn’t lend itself to simplistic formulae.

The one useful thing on that page is that they have a table of actual age differences between American couples. About 35% of all married couples have birthdays within a year of each other — which makes me totally average, since my wife and I have a 6 month age difference. Over 60% of American married couples have an age difference of less than 3 years! That tracks, since most of us form relationships with people with whom we have a lot in common, and those relationships develop organically from common associations. Do I need a calculator to figure out who I’m comfortable talking to?