Now that’s a good science fair project

Good question.

Does your cat’s butthole really touch all the surfaces in your home?

I’m impressed. It’s an original idea, executed simply, and that’s what I like to see in a science fair question. It’s simple but a little bit icky: he put lipstick on a cat’s butthole and had it sit down on various substrates and asked if it left a mark. I hate to call it “elegant,” but yeah, that’s elegant.

I know you all want to know the answer:

His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!

Our evil cat is a shorthair, wouldn’t you know it.