The Simple Distinction That Will Completely Change How You Think About Upworthy

I just pulled a random headline from the Upworthy Generator:

What This Bullied Millennial Did Is Genius

This headline does two things. First, it makes you interested in this bullied millennial. Second, it is mysterious about what he did. Its opposite would be a bland headline that reveals all, such as:

New Anti-Bullying Strategy: Gandhian Passive Resistance

The two traits sound like they go together: after all, mystery provokes curiosity. But they are very different. An interesting headline is respectful of users; it explains why they should care about the post. Concealing what the post actually says, however, is disrespectful: it hides from user the information they need to decide whether it’s worth their time to find out more. An interesting but transparent headline would be more like:

Millennial Flummoxes His Bullies by Quoting Gandhi

What unites interestingness and mystery is not concern for users, but rather a desire to maximize click-throughs. A user who knows what the post contains might realize it’s not for her.

Unlike Upworthy, BuzzFeed mostly fights fair; its headlines are usually transparent. “38 Pictures That Prove Cats Have Hearts of Gold” does what it says on the tin. I’m not especially interested in cat pictures; I won’t click on that link. With an Upworthy-style headline, I don’t know that cat pictures lie within until it’s too late. BuzzFeed tries to entice you into reading more, but Upworthy tries to trick you into reading more.

Of journalism’s many traditions, putting the most important information up front is among those most worth preserving. It signals a basic attitude of respect for the reader as a reader. Upworthy is explicitly progressive. It thinks highly of its readers’ capacity to improve the world—but also appears to believe that they need to be fooled into improving it. The uplift comes with a side serving of contempt.

Once you recognize deliberately mysterious headlines, they’re everywhere. Phrases like “in one chart” hint without telling. So do constructions like “here’s how X will do Y,” “this X will change the way you think about Y,” and, of course, the infamous “one weird trick.” Starting today, please join me in never clicking on them.