How Consent Culture Damaged Sexual Norms

"At the core of this cultural moment is the realization that one of the more popular moral trends of the last 60 years, the notion that sex can be both casual and recreational so long as both parties enthusiastically consent, is fundamentally at odds with our human nature and our profound moral needs....

Indeed it wasn’t. In fact, one consequence of the combination of ubiquity of porn and the proliferation of consent culture was the almost total sexualization of American life. The “simple” morality of consent introduced new complexities (and perils) into even the most mundane of human interactions. If “consent” is the only touchstone of sexual morality, then virtually every single human space could become sexualized.

Does that include the workplace? Or business meetings? Absolutely—so long as there’s consent. Should you pursue the married person you just met? Of course—so long as there’s consent.

In reality, however, “consent” isn’t so neat and clean. Consent comes in many forms, not all of them positive. For example, both Emba and Goldberg speak of consent that’s really nothing more than acquiescence, a kind of yielding to cultural (or personal) expectations and demands that leave one or both parties feeling degraded and unfulfilled....

In addition, even when people don’t consent to sexual propositions, it puts (mainly) women in the position of having to fend off sexual requests or sexual suggestions in spaces where they are not welcome and not wanted. After all, how does one obtain consent except through an ask? And if consent is the only touchstone, when is the ask itself immoral? ...

A generation of Americans have tried a new form of sexual morality and haven’t just found it wanting; they’ve found it profoundly harmful. The next generation should heed their words and choose a different course. Consent was never enough. Sex without love is a danger to human hearts."