Today’s Technological Middle School

(or, Welcome to the Future)

Last night, I went to parent-teacher night at my daughter’s school. Here is a list of things I wrote down that differ from when I went to middle school. Since I’m a social media researcher, many of them have to do with technology and social media. I thought someone else might find them of interest.

Things in middle school today that differ from my childhood:

• The “loaner Kindles.”
• Everyone gets a “certificate of participation” for everything.
• Cyber-bullying prevention assembly is held once each year.*
• Giant flatscreen TV looks weird on a rolling cart.
• No recess.
• Less unstructured time.
• 20 minute lunch.
• School day is shorter.
• Along with Kleenex and colored pencils, the “teacher wish list” has software licenses.
• “No cut” athletics.
• All of the good teachers have a Weebly.
• Video lectures sent home on thumb drives “in case your broadband is slow.”
• Physical Education (Phys Ed) is optional.
• Shop classes replaced by computer classes, called “Technical Education” (Tech Ed).
• The Concussion Awareness Campaign.
• Most common use of Internet in school: YouTube.
• Most FAQ from parents: “How often do you post grades on Powerschool?” (Powerschool is proprietary courseware.)
• Many textbooks are PDFs.
• As part of a “back strain prevention program” there are two copies of the heaviest textbooks — one for school and one for home.
• When I was a kid: “school resource officer.” Today: “police-free schools.” (Yes Ann Arbor is liberal and affluent.)
• Can’t make a move without a contract that the parent and the child has to sign.
• “For safety,” students not allowed in school building before or after school.
• Student art projects come home via the equivalent of Cafe Press. We got a mug.
• Whole school smells strongly of Axe.

* — An actual quote from a handout: “Facebook, cellphone cameras and texting, My Space [sic], FormSpring, X-box live, etc. are just some of the ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ that are in your children’s hands.”  

Me: “FormSpring?!”

Me: “Also, ‘My Space’ doesn’t have a space.”

Me: “Also, also, I think ‘My Space’ is over now.”

(This was cross-posted to the Social Media Collective.)