Ukraine Denied EU Trademark For ‘Russian Warship, Go Fuck Yourself’

It’s not an easy thing to be able to find moments of levity in war, particularly one as lopsided as Russia’s aggressive war on Ukraine. But one moment that fits the bill was when a Ukrainian soldier stationed on an island in the Black Sea responded to Russian demands of surrender with the now iconic phrase: “Russian warship, go fuck yourself.”

But what was a moment of defiant heroism quickly morphed into people making business decisions. First it was the Ukrainian soldier who sought to trademark the phrase, stating that he’d become aware of merchandise using his words and would seek licensing arrangements once granted the mark. That isn’t how trademark law works, of course. Then Kyiv stepped in, petitioning for a trademark on the phrase in the EU.

And the EU has correctly refused to issue the trademark, with its central premise being that the phrase wasn’t widely used by Ukraine in commerce, but as a political rallying cry.

The Court of Justice of the European Union ruled Wednesday that the slogan “Russian warship, go fuck yourself” cannot be claimed by Ukraine as an EU trademark.

According to the EU’s General Court, the phrase — which Kyiv attempted to trademark in Russian and English — “is not perceived as an indication of commercial origin,” accepting the argument of the EU’s intellectual property enforcers, who claimed late last year that the slogan did not meet the requirements to become a trademark.

The Luxembourg-based court considered that the phrase “had become very quickly a symbol of Ukraine’s fight against Russian aggression,” the ruling said. But it added that a sign “is incapable of fulfilling the essential function of a trade mark if the average consumer does not perceive, in its presence, the indication of the origin of the goods or services, but only a political message.” 

Exactly correct. The primary purpose of trademark laws, generally, is to protect the average consumer from being fooled or confused as to the origin of a product. A widely disseminated political rallying cry for Ukraine has lost any function when it comes to being a source-identifier. Ukraine appears to be merely annoyed that others are making money using the phrase of one of its soldiers. That annoyance doesn’t warrant a continent-spanning trademark.

Ukraine has enough to worry about on its eastern border, frankly. As lopsided as this whole thing is, I truly want there to be some way for the country to be made whole once more. But I didn’t want the country to have this trademark.