TIFU by scratching my balls, falling asleep and then having to have my testicle surgically removed

Obligatory; this happened a few months ago.

I was relaxing in my living room while my parents were out. I had just pulled an all-nighter to finish my paper and I was watching TV and browsing random junk on my phone to relax when I had a small itch on my testicles (This is a warning that this post will be getting a little graphic) I went downtown to scrotum town to give the crown jewels a scratch and, in my unfocussed state, I missed slightly and scratched down the back of the tube-like thing that's attached to your balls. (which I later learned is called the epididymis) This made me flinch slightly as the sensation on my jubblies was completely unexpected. I didn't think about it though, scratched the itch in the correct place and carried on watching TV.

Within about half an hour though, my lack of sleep started to catch up on me (very suddenly) and I felt myself drifting off to sleep at about 2pm.

I woke up at 2:45 to a numbing, sort of dull ache on my left penny in my coin purse. I thought nothing of it though and hoisted myself upright to drink water and then went back to sleep.

I woke up a little later completely keeled over in the fetal position with my arms between my legs. I don't remember waking up but I was in this incredible pain, like I'd snapped a muscle in my balls. I can't really describe it but my left testicle felt "different" almost. Like it had gotten lumpy, bigger and soft. As I tried to right myself, sit up and adjust my pants, the pain struck all the way up my body and I vomited onto the carpet. At this point I decided I needed to go to hospital so went on my phone and ordered an Uber there.

In what ended up being the most excruciating pain I've ever felt, I lay on the floor next to my vomit and waited an agonising 10 minutes for the Uber to arrive. Once it had, I bit my tongue and dragged myself (as upright as possible) to the front door and into the back of the Uber. The Uber driver didn't really give a shit as I groaned and clenched in the back of the car and sort of dumped me outside the hospital. The next thing I remember was standing in line for the emergency room before trying to sit down. (I found out later that I had actually collapsed)

I woke up the next morning with one less testicle, a very scared mother and a lesson in something called "testicular torsion". Gentlemen (and people with testicles) of Reddit.

PLEASE DON'T IGNORE YOUR DULL BALL-ACHES

TL:DR - Ignored a panged ball. Ended up sans ball.