Paper straws are fucking stupid.

I’m sorry but whose fucking idea was it to make a straw out of paper! Any buffoon knows that paper and liquids do not go well together.

Look, I’m totally for not using single-use plastic products! That’s fine, and it’s better for the environment if we do so. However, plastic straws make up 0.025% of the total plastic waste currently in the ocean. The way I see it, focusing so heavily on straws simplifies the real problem too much and prevents real change from happening. From my research, recent plastic straw bans haven’t even made any noticeable difference, likely because the entire straw problem is relatively negligible.

Also, compost straws exist. They are actually way sturdier than plastic straws and I feel better using them for obvious reasons.

Fuck paper straws.