Have your cake and then squirt it out of your body with new stomach pump

Dean Kamen has been responsible for a whole slew of inventions, some beneficial and some less so. The latest creation with his name on it, described in a patent application filed on January 3 of this year, falls more into the "less so" category.

The patent application, titled "APPARATUS FOR TREATING OBESITY BY EXTRACTING FOOD," describes a device and method for sticking a tube into a person's stomach and allowing them to eat whatever they want, and then to eject the masticated but undigested food into a convenient toilet. The idea is to reduce the amount of calories your body absorbs by yanking the food out of your stomach, after you've enjoyed eating it but before it makes its way into your digestive tract.

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USTPO

Lest you think that the contents of your stomach are safe and the invention exists only on paper, a company called Aspire Bariatrics already offers the system in Europe, proudly proclaiming, "The AspireAssist Aspiration Therapy System received CE mark approval in December 2011 to market in the European Union, and is now commercially available in selected regions in Europe and beyond." The company's website notes that the device and procedure aren't yet approved for use in the USA; that (and the FDA) are presumably the reasoning behind filing the patent.