Shilling for Shillings for Sbobet?

I am not saying that you are a shill for the casinos. You do give worthy advice for far too many gamblers who sure could use it. But here’s my hang-up. With the exuberant edge the casino holds over the average player, don’t you think your sage advice is falling either on deaf ears, or those who hopelessly believe they can win? Joe D.

The goal of this column is to inform players of the true costs of casino entertainment. Through the tutelage of this column, players can learn exactly what their chances are of hitting jackpots, royal flushes, prop bets on a crap game, keno, etc. Realistically though, Joe, no amount of education from me or you or the High Priest of the Holy Order of Saint Probability can curb many a player’s appetite for hitting it rich. Seems far too many players imagine themselves exceptions to the rule, destined to topple the celestial gods of ABC casino, and come floating home on marshmallow heaps of the evil villains’ hard-lost dollars.

Feet on the ground, now, Joe, steady on. The house is entitled to an edge to pay for the huge investment it takes to bring gaming to those who want and can afford it. Heck, they supply the games, pay the employees, the singers, the chorus girls, the magic shows, cough up for that enormous light bill, AND payout some money on occasion. My advice? Let some other Joe foot those bills.

If you’re a player walking into a casino uneducated, it’s not the casino’s fault, it is yours. Besides getting a modicum of gaming education, all players have the freedom to shop for value: casinos do have different rules for their games, different payoffs, and even different food prices. It’s up to the player to find the best bets for the game of interest. The casino is not in the business of leading players to water or making them to lie down in sweet somoleons. Ultimately, Joe, the smart gambler decides how big an edge he’ll grant the casino, and he sticks with it. Don’t be the Joe who pays for all those light bulbs.

Dear Mark,

Reading your article on the Sic Bo Triplet by Clay C., you stated that the Sbobet odds of hitting the triplet were 35 to 1. Now correct me if I am wrong, but are not the odds of three dice all coming up the same 215 to 1 (36 to the third power). Darryl K.

Your arithmetic is right, Darryl. I’m the dill here, no question. The problem was the lack of clarity on my end. I stated; “the triplet is a wager in Sic Bo that on the next shake of the three dice, the same face will come up on all three. For example, you wager $5 that three 6s will appear. If that happens, you are paid 24 to 1 on your $5 for $120.” I meant to say that you are betting “any” three-of-a-kind will show, not just the one number (6) I used as an example. (And you thought Enron used odd accounting.)

Dear Mark,

Besides blackjack, Pai Gow poker is one of my favorite casino games. I have heard the game is beatable with perfect basic strategy. What are your thoughts about incorporating perfect basic strategy, or should I just stick with using it at blackjack? Terry T.

Temper that euphoria, Terry. Employing perfect basic strategy at Pai Gow poker is impenetrable for those of us with limited gray matter. Sure it can be done, and yes, there is such a thing as perfect basic strategy for Pai Gow poker. If you have the Rain Man or Beautiful Mind genius to memorize a complex matrix of thousands of possible hands, and if you can prevent steam from puffing out your ears and condensing on the baise, you’re in great shape. If any one of those conditions is absent, forget about it and save your sanity.

Gambling thought of the week: “Ah, volatility, it’s a beautiful thing.” – John Grochowski, Chicago Sun-Times