We Are Now Education Rhee-Think #aprilfools

I have long been a critic of the policies and the ideology of Michelle Rhee. Two years in the classroom did not seem like adequate training for the job as the chancellor of Washington D.C. schools. I found the the duct tape incident to be sickening and I found the firing of a beloved principal on national television to be almost as sickening. But I was wrong. Look at the data. Those D.C. schools improved. All of them. And though they crashed when she left, that just goes to show you how important she was. Michelle Rhee was the Peyton Manning of superintendents. She was a super-superintendent, intending in the most super of all ways! Her hard-nose policies are what our lazy American teachers need. We've already seen the data. VAM scores are working out perfectly. Merit pay will increase the teachers' intrinsic motivation, leading to harder work. No, really. Unlike the steroid scandal in baseball, the corruption in Wall Street and the lying of Enron, high-pressure, high-stakes merit pay will work. Teachers won't cheat, not when their compliance-based policies guide them toward teaching to the test. We will, for the first time ever, truly be putting Students First! It's the only way we will win the pissing contest against China, India, Singapore and every other country Americans can't identify on the map. We will be a superpower again, not by the tenacity of our military and the stockpile of nuclear weapons, but by the weapons of mass instruction that we will drop on the eastern hemisphere. And so, it is for that reason, that I am handing over the rights to this blog to Michelle Rhee.