Cool Versus Approachable

The biggest mistake I made in student teaching was believing that I had to wow kids with a cool factor. It was a decade ago, back when Nelly was popular. I wanted the kids to like me, so I viewed myself as sort-of a big kid. I listened to Nelly and I watched movies that were popular with eighth graders and I thought I was making myself more approachable. I knew that teaching had to begin with a relationship and I believed that I couldn't build a relationship if I wasn't being relevant. Honestly, there was another component. I wanted to be well-liked. Although I would tell students that diversity was important and that I valued those who could "be different," I was trying my hardest to be a bunch of things I wasn't: young, urban, etc. It took me about a month before I realized that I wasn't approachable at all. By trying to act relevant, I became irrelevant. I was either an annoying phony or I was white noise, unable to offer a new perspective. At times, it was worse. When I actually succeeded in being "cool," I alienated the uncool, the outcaste and the different. I quickly realized that approachability had nothing to do with popularity or coolness or even relevance. It had to do with humility. If I could be honest, even vulnerable at times, then I would earn their respect. It's why, on the first day of school, I'll be open about how nervous I am. I'll let them know that I enjoy music that they probably can't stand. I'll tell them my strengths and my weaknesses as a teacher. I've learned that humility draws students in. And, while I will still be the leader in my classroom, I know that the best way to be approachable is by earning their trust.