1/ Some Personal News

TechCrunch » Alexia Tsotsis - Staff Archive 2018-04-11

1/ Some personal news …

2/ I will be leaving TechCrunch because I’ve been cast to play a supporting role in “Tweetstorm The Movie 3/ .”

Just kidding. Okay, I am stepping down as co-editor of TechCrunch, but not due to the allure of Hollywood or whatever is going on with Verizon. Instead, I will be fulfilling my completely rational, lifelong dream of going to business school.

After weighing all my iconoclastic mid-life options, I thought getting a Master’s degree could be the most rebellious thing I could possibly do at this stage, so I’m doing it. And probably, simultaneously, working on my own thing like everybody else I know.

It’s been an honor to work here the past five years, and spend the past three leading and growing the TechCrunch team. I feel like I’ve learned a lot more from TechCrunch than it’s learned from me, and for that I will always be grateful.

Thank you all for supporting me and helping me become a better leader, writer and person. I may never have another job I’ll love as much as this one, but I need to click on to the next gallery slide of my life …

However, I’d like to be involved with this fantastic blog as much as Verizon Aol Matthew will let me. I will always be a resource, collaborator and friend to our readers and those in the community who have given me their wisdom and trust but most of all a chance: Especially Mike Arrington, Heather Harde, Eric Eldon, Leena Rao, Susan Lyne, Jay Kirsch, Fara Warner, Susan Hobbs, Kara Swisher, Ned Desmond, Tim Armstrong, Ryan Block, Om Malik, Luke Beatty and my current co-editor Matthew Panzarino.

And speaking of Hollywood, we have a running internal thread here at TC, going on since 2013, on who would play whom in “TechCrunch: The Movie.” You’re not a real TechCruncher unless you’ve seen the thread resurface three times.

Screen Shot 2015-05-20 at 8.04.26 AMThe best thing about this over-200-post-long thread is that it was actually inspired by a listicle written by BuzzFeed’s Matthew Lynley, titled “11 Actors Who Should Star In A Movie About Twitter.” Lynley is now at TechCrunch.

The second-best thing is that I kept promising to write a post about “TechCrunch: The Movie” and never got around to it.

So here goes: Below are our completely non-comprehensive, editorial-heavy picks for actors in “TechCrunch: The Movie.” There are dupes and omissions.

If we, for some reason, didn’t include a good one or you’re a new TechCrunch staffer reading this ten years into the future, please include your suggestions (or yourself) in the comments.

As the future of TC is To Be Continued, there will be many new roles to fill.

Fara WarnerCynthia NixonMG SieglerGuy Pearce or Domnhall GleesonMatthew PanzarinoMark RuffaloRyan LawlerRachel McAdams / Jake Galifianakis / Kevin Spacey / Neil Patrick Harris / Peter Sarsgaard and Chris O’Dowd / Mac from Always Sunny in Philadelphia / Nick Cage / Max WoolfMatt LynleyRyan Gosling / Ansel ElgortRomain DilletAdrian Brody with a beard / Jason Schwartzman with Jean Dujardin’s accentJon ShieberKit HarringtonHenry PickavetBruno MarsKyle RussellRobert PattinsonSarah BuhrRachel WeiszRon MillerWill FarrellIngrid LundenLiz Lemon / Katie Holmes / Queen Latifah / Brooke Shields / Holly Hunter / Chris Noth. Or HerselfAlex Wilhelm1970s George Carlin / Hayden ChristensenGene TeareCate BlanchettBeardless Ryan LawlerBeardless Brian CranstonCarol SebastianLucy LiuKeith TearePaul HoganBryce DurbinJason Bateman / Charlie SheenSteve O’HearA younger Tim RothMatt BurnsTaylor Hanson / Bill Hader / Rainn WilsonSarah PerezDrew Barrymore / Reese WitherspoonMike ButcherColin Farrell / Bono / Denis LearyJosh ConstineMichael CeraNatasha LomasClaire Danes / Toni ColletteArianna HuffingtonMeryl StreepLeslie HitchcockEmma Watson / Carey MulliganColleen TaylorAmanda SeyfriedJosh TopolskySteve BuscemiJohn BiggsTaylor Hicks / George Clooney / the corpse of John CandyDrew OlanoffMeatloaf / Bill Hader / David CrossDarrell EtheringtonRyan Hurst from “Remember the Titans” / Rick MoranisLuke BeattyLuke PerryPaul CarrVincent KartheiserJosh ConstineAshton Kutcher / Nick CageGreg BartoThe Wu Tang Clan’s GZAMark ZuckerbergJesse Eisenberg reprises his roleChris VelazcoJustin Timberlake’s backup dancer, as seen to the right of Timberlake in this video.Sarah LacyAlexis BledelJon OrlinBill Murray / John CusackBilly GallagherFrankie MunizHeather Harde Jennifer GarnerNed DesmondBrian Cranston or Jeremy IronsAnthony HaGeorge Takei or Johnny Depp or Linda Hunt Susan HobbsKristen WiigTim ArmstrongMichael ShannonJordan CrookSliding Doors Gwyneth Paltrow / Chelsea Handler / Amy PoehlerEric EldonJames Franco / Tom CruiseKara SwisherCarrie FisherRip EmpsonAndy SambergJay KirschBilly GallagherJosh ConstineAdam BrodyFrederic LardinoisFabioKim-Mai CutlerAubrey PlazaDrew OlanoffNicholas CageLeena RaoFreida PintoElin BlesenerZooey DeschanelAlexia TsotsisRebel Wilson / Anne Hathaway / Lena DunhamJohn BiggsGeorge Clooney / Taylor HicksAnthony HaCillian Murphy / Ken JeongMike ArringtonJason Segel Colleen TaylorEmma StoneGabe RiveraCillian Murphy Jason KincaidCillian MurphyGreg KumparakRyan Gosling obviouslySarah LaneScarlett JohanssonCatherine ShuAsian hippie at the end of Mad MenAndrew SweeneyPatrick StewartNicole WilkeJulia StilesTravis BernardLeonardo DiCaprio