Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar - The New York Times

"Here’s the problem: guidance that centers on the term “consent” suggests that a legal standard for permissible sexual interactions is also a decent or desirable one.

Which it isn’t.  

So long as discussions of consent crowd out discussions of basic interpersonal sensitivity, we should not be surprised by reports of young men who (more often than the other way round) badger young women for sexual favors. It may be legal to wear someone down, but doing so is not the basis for healthy relationships between any two people, be they of the opposite or same sex....

And so long as we normalize mere consent as an acceptable standard for sexual engagement, it will remain commonplace for young women (and sometimes, young men) to harbor feelings of confusion and regret after participating in sexual activity for which they technically gave consent, but only when pressured....

What if we reserved the term consent for its more appropriate uses, such as in the courtroom or when submitting to a medical procedure? And what if, in the place of consent, we advised young people to check for nothing less than enthusiastic agreement from their sexual partners? We could add, “I get it that healthy sex can include some uncertainty. Feeling apprehensive yet eager is all right. But if you or your partner feels apprehensive and merely willing, that’s a no go.”

When drinking is involved, even enthusiastic agreement might be too low a bar for consent, but it’s still an improvement upon the standard we hold now."