Not Quite Non-Consensual. I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no… | by Em Unravelling | The Virago | Medium

"I didn’t say yes but I didn’t say no. I didn’t want to, I really didn’t want to, but at the same time I didn’t want to argue with him; I felt tired at the thought of it. And I had gone home with him. That’s what “come back to my place” always means for grown-up women. Isn’t it?...

It was many years before I realised that he made me feel dirty because of my self-disgust at having allowed my instincts to be overridden by — what? — politeness? A need to be seen as cool, as not-frigid?...

it wouldn’t happen now. I am sure it wouldn’t. Because today, even as a teenager, I am certain that I would know — that he would know — that not-yes is always, always no. No question."