Saying the quiet part out loud : a missing stair

The only other time I’ve written something like this was 10 years after leaving an abusive relationship, to describe what it was like to try to get over it and how I still carried it with me in some ways. I tried hard to be compassionate to Corey, even then. I’m less interested in being compassionate in this post about Gunner. Corey at least had youth to pin things on, could still possibly change. I have sat down with Gunner to talk to him about all this, and while he didn’t get defensive in the moment, it seems he’s up to his old games still, I’ve offered to meet with him again, and I’m frankly pretty sick of this dead weight on the tech justice space.

I had written a very long-form thing to get all my feels out. Receipts there if you ask me for a password and agree not to share outwards, but it boils down to this: Gunner is pathologically unable to move from ideation space into execution, and does this at very high cost to the marginalized people he surrounds himself with, who have built their prior careers on being able to execute. Gunner has a great nose for potential, and taps into that potential, but then absolutely destroys your potential if you try to realize your dreams around him. He does this while making it your fault. This tendency has slowed (stopped, in some cases) the social justice technology space he is involved with. We no longer have time for this, and so I’m deciding to speak up.

I am confident enough of this that I will buy you dinner, wherever you are, with or without my company, to talk through it if you have hard data to the contrary. This only applies to people of a marginalized identity, not other white dudes or people in a funding position; and must be about executing on something, not just the ideation stage.

This is not a call to cancel someone. This is a call to be cautious about what sorts of ideas you bring to him, and what sorts of work you try to do with him.