AITAH for refusing to have sex with my wife?

I’ll keep the back story as short as possible. We are both 29 and have been married for 5 years.

For more or less our entire marriage we’ve had sexual intimacy problems. The main two were that I was the one with the sole responsibility for initiating and that my wife was constantly rejecting my advances.

Earlier in the relationship I was trying to initiate sex maybe 10 times a month and was rejected 8 of those times on average. It got really tiring being rejected all the time and it severely damaged my self esteem.

We talked many times about this. We probably had a talk once every other month for 2 years. We threw so much at the wall but nothing helped.

About 6 months ago I broke. I don’t know what it was but it was like the straw that broke the camels back. She was giving me postive signals all day signaling she wanted to have sex. I worked up the courage to attempt to initiate in the way she’d suggested in all our conversations. Rejected again. It just broke me. After my wife went to sleep I remember crying in the bathroom for an hour.

The next day I had the house to myself so I decided to clean to get my mind off things. I ended up finding two things that solidified my decision. A box of condoms that I had in my bedside table, over half the box still there, and they were expired. The other thing was lingerie that I had purchased for my wife over a year prior that I’d never seen her in. I threw both items away and decided in that moment I was done with sex.

Things have been up and down over the last 6 months. I ended up getting on anti depressants which helped me a lot with how I was feeling and it also dampened my sex drive quite a bit which I considered a plus. In the last 6 months we haven’t had sex, and we haven’t even talked about sex a single time.

This last weekend was pretty great honestly. We had the weekend all to ourselves and we spent the entire time together. I don’t remember the last time we had that much fun together.

Sunday night rolls around, and in a surprising turn of events my wife asks if I’d like to have sex later. I simply said no. She then got visible upset and asked me why. This made me extremely uncomfortable, this is never something in the hundreds and hundreds of times she rejected me that I’ve ever asked her after she declines any sort of intimacy. I didn’t answer for a minute and then I said I don’t think I want to have sex anymore. This made her even more upset then she went to bed and hasn’t talked to me much since.

I kind of feel like an asshole for what I said, but I’m not sorry because it’s true. I was in such a miserable place for so long and I never want to be back there again. AITA?