Update: AITAH for suspecting my wife after she went to Mexico and spent no money and took no pictures.

Good morning everyone. I know its been a while but as I'm sure you can imagine, this is has been the worst week of my life and it's been an absolute whirlwind of activity trying to get things set up in a life that I don't even really recognize anymore.

First of all I am now in the process of getting a legal separation from my wife with the aim of getting divorced. She and I both want to take the process very slow so its fair to everyone. I do have a personal lawyer who is handling the separation but even she recommends that it will be cheaper and easier for us to do a mediated divorce. She (edit: the lawyer--not my wife) has a colleague who has this sort of package deal where we will work with a certified counselor while we are meeting with the mediation lawyer to handle the legal aspects. The goal is to learn to be co-parents and friendly while go through the breakup. I know my wife is hoping to see the counselor with the aim of reconciling, I am doing the counseling so I can learn how to treat her with some sort of respect as the mother of my kids for their benefit. I can't possibly see reconciling but I guess stranger things have happened.

Those of you who read along last week know that my sister is one of those internet sleuths who if you tell her a first initial and someone's eye color, she can come up with the person's entire life history in a matter of minutes. I've pretty much let her handle all of the "dirty work." She did some research on the guy and he's an absolute piece of shit. He has judgements and leans against him all over the country. He has 6 kids with four different women and is delinquent on child support on most of them, it seems like his MO is to just wait until the kids turn 18 and hope they stop coming after him. And this is the guy my wife picked to ruin everything for. My sister did get in touch with his current wife and said that she has pics and text messages that prove he was cheating and so far has not heard back from her. Who knows what's going on with that. My assumption is it's happened so many times, she expects it and or tolerates it but maybe we'll hear back from her.

My wife and I are still in the house together until the separation is official and we may continue to be even after the legal separation is done. I just don't know and I figure as long as we can be friendly to each other then it's ok. I had to go away on business last week and when I got back on Saturday it was pretty clear the "fight" in her was gone and she wanted to talk and accept full responsibility and was willing to come clean about the whole thing. I told her I really didn't need to hear any more because her affair partner had confessed the whole thing and even sent pics. I think her thing is now is that she's utterly humiliated and has been very quiet, even obsequious as her general manner around the house. It's not really what I want because I didn't get married to have a servant and the change in her normal fiery and funny personality is only a reminder that something is really wrong.

Kids are doing fine, they are spending a lot of time with my sister and her boyfriend and his family so hopefully looking back this will just be the summer before their parents got divorced and are missing the turmoil in the house.

I guess if there's questions I can try to answer them but that's pretty much what's been going on.