CMV: I am a misogynistic, bitter, angry incel please help me change my toxic views.

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: This might be a long post but i have a lot of toxic views and i would really like to change them. I wanna say why i feel so angry and bitter and misogynist. i really wanna change and improve myself and get rid of these hateful thoughts and beliefs. Also sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting.

First of i wanna say how i feel why i feel and think the way i do.

I am an 18 year old incel.

The reason why i wanna have sex with women so badly is because men who are virgins with no experience with women are losers and considered to be less worthy of respect. I am 18 years old and i feel a lot of anger and envy towards teenagers in particular when i see teens my age or younger than me (particularly, boys) asking for advice on reddit or anywhere else, about having sexual relationships or see parents posting about their teens having sex and asking for advice about it as well. And i especially feel so upset when i see teens my age or younger in malls or anywhere in public holding hands and kissing.

The reason why i feel angry and envious is because these boys have had sex with attractive girls before me and they're much younger than me. I feel inferior and less of a man than these boys. I feel like these boys are more successful and more respectable than me. And I'm not saying women are trophies to be conquered, but from these boys having sex with girls it shows that they're attractive, they're interesting, and have qualities that draws girls to them. That they're more worthy than me. I am very hard working and have a lot of determination and resilience and i have accomplished quite a lot for my age on other things yet no girl ever gave me a chance.

Another thing; another reason why i also wanna sex badly is because i am getting older and sex at a older age isn't as enjoyable compared to doing It in your younger years. Teenagers have raging hormones and are much hornier and lustful than adults. Therefore even if i end up having sex when I'm older, what would be the point if i am not even gonna have the same excitement or fun? I'll be a grown man and i won't have raging hormones anymore and I'll be much more stoic and busy so sex will be worthless at such a age.

Teenagers aside, in general i hate men who are successful with women because again, it shows they're much worthy and more of a man than me. Virgin men are ridiculed and mocked and laughed at. If this didn't happen that me and many other incels likely wouldn't feel this way. Virgin is even used as an insult. Being a virgin, especially a male virgin and an involuntary one at that shows that no one wants to sleep with you and there must be something wrong with you.

And my reason for my misogyny isn't just because women won't have sex with me but because women also mock male virgins. Sure women are different but in general being a virgin is considered to be a red flag by a lot of women.

Also i see a lot of attractive women dating and sleeping with such weird or ugly looking men without much in return. A lot of these men are not rich or handsome or very successful and in fact if they WERE i wouldn't feel as envious. Id rather have women chase after successful and handsome men. I feel angry and hateful towards these men and the women because it shows that it doesn't take much for men to attract women yet i struggle a LOT and the fact that these men who much worse looking and not even successful are easily able to start a sexual or romantic relationship with women shows that something Is wrong me and with my low self esteem it makes me feel worse and it manifests into very negative emotions.

I mean on reddit there's this beautiful woman (that i have been following for a while and masturbate to her posts) who posts nudes on reddit and has a onlyfans and she posted a new video of her having sex with this new guy who she never posted before. In the comments it turned out that he was one of her onlyfans followers and he met up with him for sex. She replied to a comment that said he paid her that he didn't pay her anything and she had sex with him because she was looking for a new sex partner and he sent her a nice respectful message and had a nice chat. This guy wasn't even good looking and in fact was below average. He was very fucking scrawny and he had such a weird penis shape and his dick wasn't even big. He had no wealth, no good looks, not even a big or good looking penis and this fucking whore chose to sleep with him over a "nICe ReSpeCtfUL mEsSaGe" they were also flirting a bit in the comments and the dude said that he almost lost his mind when her saw her naked and had sex with her several times.

I have talked with this girl on onlyfans a lot and have followed her for a while. I spent a lot of money on her a LOT and she barely responds to my messages and when we do talk she doesn't seem interested in me yet she met up with this dude for sex over a message.

I felt so angry that i actually wanted to hack this guy and steal his personal information. Not just him but send a cyber attack on HER as well.

To put into words how angry i was:

I am in multiple discord servers about technology and computer's (since i wanna expand my knowledge about tech and become a engineer in the future) and in one of the servers there's a group of guys who are very good at hacking and have done a lot of serious illegal things. They also do things such as pirate games and movies and jailbreak devices. I am good at computers but not as much as these guys. I am good friends with them and so i aksed them to hack someone for me or to teach me how to do cyber attacks. Turns out Learning how to hack is very complicated and can take years to learn and master and even just commting a cyber assault on someone or on any site can take a long time as well. From months to years. so i asked to hack him for me instead. They said sure but depending on the attack it would take a while and they won't make any promises.

This is when i realized i was probably taking things too far over something so stupid.

I really wanna change and just learn how to be a man without having to be in a sexual or romantic relationship with anyone. I have a lot more beliefs and Views and reasons for why but it would make this post even longer so I'll just leave it at that.

Please change my Views.

EDIT: i am taking therapy already so please don't recommend that

EDIT 2: thank you so much all the upvotes and comments. I replied to a lot of them but there's too many more now. I will reply to all your comments in the morning.

EDIT 3: not sure if any new people will see this new edit but i am actually bisexual. Yes i am attracted to men sexually. However i only find beautiful effeminate men attractive like the ones in anime attractive (astolfo, hideyoshi kinoshit, saika totsuka, etc) and there's this anime cosplayer named @_10kujo on Instagram. He's gorgeous. I do feel envy towards less good looking guys who get with these type of guys im attracted to but thats something completely different than women and will be a topic for another time.

EDIT 4: i was not expecting to get this much attention holy shit I have received so many comments, replies, DM and private messages. I promise i will respond to ALL of you eventually but it will take a while to get to you

EDIT 5: i gave several deltas already but my mindset hasn't completely changed. And i will be giving deltas on comments that provide good points that will get me thinking and reconsider my Views.

EDIT 6: again i will try to reply to ALL of you but it will take time to reply because as i stated before i have received so many replies and DMs and even private messages and I'm STILL receiving more.